Dear Coleen

I am a woman in my forties who has been dating a very attractive man for a few weeks. He is tall, dark, and charming, with a unique and enjoyable personality.

Initially, everything seemed positive, but I am facing challenges with his communication style. He frequently leaves my messages unread for extended periods and is slow to respond. Moreover, he avoids phone conversations.

While I tried to accept his behavior as his norm, his lack of communication is causing me to feel insecure and uncertain about our relationship status.

I find myself feeling neglected and constantly anxious, always checking my phone for any sign of contact, which is unhealthy.

Conversations about this issue with him have led to him dismissing my concerns, labeling me as the odd one, and asserting that he communicates differently, not tethered to his phone like I supposedly am (which I am not).

This communication barrier is hindering the potential for a meaningful relationship. While our time together is enjoyable, the lack of communication in between has become a significant source of frustration. I feel too mature to endure this situation.

Coleen advises

Having experienced a similar situation in the past, I understand the tendency to lose oneself and develop feelings of paranoia.

Doubts about oneself and the desire for acknowledgment can lead to a fruitless path as the person in question tends to avoid intimacy, fleeing further when pressured.

This behavior may stem from unresolved past events, causing emotional attachment to feel suffocating, leading them to distance themselves periodically.

Despite sporadic gestures after long periods of silence, it is essential to prioritize your peace of mind and well-being over such erratic behavior.

If someone truly values you, they will not subject you to such treatment. It is crucial to recognize your self-worth and assert that you deserve better. You cannot force someone to change if they are unwilling to do so.

While the challenge may seem enticing, it is important to understand that it may culminate in heartache. Respect yourself enough to move forward.

Reflecting on my personal experience, I realized the importance of self-respect and the f