Dear Coleen,

I recently finalized my divorce, expecting to feel relieved and ready to move forward. However, I find myself feeling lost instead. Surprisingly, I almost miss the chaos and arguments with my ex, as it consumed much of my attention for a long time.

I am at a loss on what to do next and how to navigate this new chapter in my life. During the marriage, I dedicated my time to catering to my ex’s constant neediness and confrontations, always striving to maintain peace.

Now that the divorce is settled, I am left feeling strange without the constant battles. It has created a void that I am unsure how to fill. Is this a common reaction post-divorce, and do you have any advice on coping with this situation?

Coleen says,

Breaking free from a toxic relationship often leads to feelings of being lost and even bored due to the familiarity of dealing with drama. Although it may seem comforting, it may not be in your best interest.

The absence of such turmoil leaves room for personal growth and decision-making. While it may feel daunting initially, remember that you are now free to shape your own path. Healing takes time, similar to a grieving process, so be patient with yourself.

Focus on the reasons the marriage ended and avoid dwelling on the past. Embrace this opportunity to rediscover yourself and pursue the life you deserve. It’s a chance to engage in activities you couldn’t before and to create a fulfilling future. Starting anew may be challenging but also exciting. Take the time to understand yourself and your desires before rushing into another relationship.

Remember, the journey ahead is about adapting to a fresh beginning and discovering the joy of independence. It’s an opportunity to grow and evolve, setting the stage for a brighter future.

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